The Bride of Frankenstein

03/26

There will be spoilers (for a film that has been around for 89 years).

So, I am finally picking up where I left off in my viewing of the classic Universal Monsters movies with the 5th entry in the “series”.

I was watching some Facebook reels and came across one of a lady who was speaking about her issue with all of the artwork and products that show The Bride and The Monster longingly looking at each other like lovers, which is absolutely not the point of the film. It inspired me to get back to watching these films.

I read most of the trivia about the film and really wish that there was a director’s cut available to see James Whale’s original vision.

As for the film itself, I had no idea that there would be an introductory opening with Mary Shelley and her friends discussing her book, and her offering to tell them what happens next. I felt that this was a truly clever segue between the films and a nice reminder that Shelley is the mother of all science fiction, more than 200 years ago.

There are a great many reasons that I can see why it is considered superior to the original, especially now, as the story of The Monster’s origin has been done more times than Batman! There are also a few moments of goofiness to liven up the pace over the original Frankenstein (especially the minis) as well as a whole ton more screen time for The Monster, instead of the discussion of Henry Frankenstein’s upcoming wedding.

It would appear that people said “more Monster!” and Whale delivered.

As for The Bride, for those who do not know, she gets less than 5 minutes of screen time, which is disappointing as hell, but they are very powerful. Her presence is captivating and awesome, and she immediately rejects The Monster. It is no surprise that she has become a feminist icon, this is a woman who was literally created to be a mate for one specific man, only to be recoiled by that existence.

There is also some significance to this symbolism when you know about James Whale.

The Bride of Frankenstein (1935) – 8/10

Old

05/15

So, I was scrolling through Reels on Facebook and I came across one from Jaime French ripping apart Shyamalan’s “Old”.

Needless to say any big spoilers were ruined for me, but more than anything it got me more interested for how silly it seemed.

These are the notes I took while watching:

My first thought was that the child actors were pretty awful. But then I suddenly had a thought that maybe child actors should be bad. Maybe the problem is that most are the cream of the crop and always come across wise which is unfair because most kids are idiots.

Why is this famous rapper’s name Mid-Sized Sedan?

Gael Garcia Bernal has aged incredibly well and is a beautiful man. But I still don’t understand why he and his wife have odd accents but the children do not. Was this so no one’s country of origin could be deduced?

I did have a note wondering why the adults weren’t visibly aging, but they did at least explain that. Gee, it sure was convenient that there was someone who was an expert in all fields on the beach, made it easy for tons of exposition.

Once the kids were “teenagers” (that girl from Jojo Rabbit was obviously early twenties) she did a really good job of still acting like a young child in an adult body. That is, until their dialogue changes to them acting incredibly wise and mature.

Seriously, the little girl who was 5 but is now 15 or whatever was talking about not going to prom. Can we try to remember that she is supposed to be 5 mentally?

The make-up effects on the old aged parents were really pathetic. Actually most of the horror effects were laughably bad.

The twist was spoiled for me, but at least the adults kind of come to that confusion halfway through, so it’s not some huge reveal at the end.

The movie as a whole was somewhat decent, or at least it was a decent idea. The execution was pretty poor though. It could have been much much worse though.

Old (2021) – 4/10

Alien

04/29

I’d been planning to watch Alien with David so we could watch the franchise for a while. It just so happened that this year was the 45th anniversary and it was rereleased in theaters so I had Cory go either way us.

It was as fantastic as I remembered, but even more so seeing it on the big screen. There is a magic to seeing movies in the intended format.

Alien makes for a pretty flawless horror movie. Ridley Scott knew the limitations of the time and dove into some truly spectacular practical effects. There’s no Harryhausen claymation or CGI that is unbearably dated. There is just an absolutely terrifying creature hiding in the shadows with an ever increasingly hostile and isolated crew.

The isolation is made all the more real by a f**king stellar cast.

I don’t have a ton to say other that praising what is by far one of the greatest sci-fi/horror films of all time.

Alien (1979) – 10/10

Cats Don’t Dance

04/21

I feel like I need to start this entry by stating that although I have some issues with this motion picture, I still enjoyed my viewing of it. Sometimes it’s who you watch a movie with that can make all the difference.

My first and by far my biggest complaint about this movie is that it is entirely too short! There is entirely too little time for character development. It does, however, explain the massive info dump before the credits. I wouldn’t be surprised if there was something with the “non-creatives” getting involved to screw up what could have been a lovely tribute to golden age Hollywood.

There is unfortunately no character development, other than a really quick intro, a mention of why they are who they are, and then a song and dance.

As for the song and dance… the animation is truly lovely, each character design stands apart from the crowd beautifully. The songs are all jams, all of which I enjoyed, however it does bother me that Jasmine Guy (who is an accomplished singer) doesn’t sing and instead they used Natalie Cole. This would be less bothersome if the difference in the voices wasn’t so incredibly noticeable. Scott Bakula, who voices the lead, does do his own singer, and although he if a perfectly acceptable vocalist, he isn’t even in league with Natalie Cole. So there is some serious inconsistency there.

All of that being said, if I had seen this as a child I probably would have loved it, but through my more discerning eye it disappoints.

Cats Don’t Dance (1997) – 5/10

Barbie

04/13

So, after about a year it was finally time to watch Barbie again. I saw it last year in the theater but my sister hadn’t seen it yet.

I absolutely loved it the first time, this time it was a bit of a let down.

Barbie is ubiquitous. All you have to do is say her name and everyone knows who you’re talking about. Just like Mickey, you don’t even need context. I almost said Mario, but Mario isn’t as universal and span every single living generation.

The performances were spectacular. Margot Robbie was an utter dream casting, and when I reviewed the movie the first time, I said American Ferrera deserved a freaking Oscar nomination for her performance (which she got). Then there is Ryan Gosling. I really like him, I think he is incredibly talented, I’m also certainly not ageist, but he looks older than Robbie, and was not the best choice. I also think that the Just Ken song is unnecessarily long and boring. That time could have been better served to have the Barbies explain to the Kens the issues with patriarchy and find out what made them so unhappy.

There are certainly class issues in Barbieland that need addressed.

The movie was nominated for best picture and both best supporting parts, but how the hell does the director and lead actress, the women who brought god damned Barbie to life not get nominated?

Kate McKinnon is an absolute dream come true and Will Ferrell steals all of his scenes.

It’s still a great movie and I enjoyed it a great deal the second time, but it didn’t blow me away this time.

Barbie (2023) – 8/10

Loaded Weapon 1

04/07

National Lampoon’s Loaded Weapon 1 is a stupid movie. Also, I love it.

Wether or not you’ve seen all of the movies referenced in this slapstick parody (Lethal Weapon 1-3, Silence of the Lambs, Basic Instinct, 48 Hours and so many more), this one is purely funny. It’s even better, however, if you have seen them.

I think it deserves to be up in the annals of Parody greatness with Mel Brooks movies, Naked Gun, Airplane and so forth.

The fact that Samuel L. Jackson didn’t continue to do spoofs after this is astonishing, I would have loved if that had had him do a fourth Naked Gun with him in the lead with no explanation whatsoever!

And my god, the cameos! Not only are the villains Shatner and Curry, but Whoopi, Hartman, Feldman, even Scotty from Star Trek!

Like many other movies I review, this one goes on my list of favorite ever films because it never stops giving me a good time even 30+ years later.

National Lampoon’s Loaded Weapon 1 (1993) – 10/10

The King’s Daughter

03/27

Well, I managed to only spend about 35 minutes scrubbing through this 98 minute movie about Pierce Brosnan as the King of France and his long lost daughter, the cellist, fighting over a terrible CGI rendered Fan Bingbing mermaid that can heal people.

Oh yeah, and Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter is also there as a love interest for said daughter.

Also, Pablo Schreiber is there as a doctor/super rich guy. I honestly didn’t recognize him without facial hair, and I was also trying to figure out why he was so young until I discovered that the movie was filmed 7 years before its release.

I tried to scrub through it as quickly as possible, but I became obsessed with the complete and utter lack of French accents on a single person in the movie. They either sounded American or British. This is a movie that takes place at the palace of Versailles. It’s kind of hilarious.

The girl playing the lead did her very best to act like Kristen Stewart, and she did a decent job in the movie, but the only character I really cared about was her servant, who’s name I believe was “exposition dump”.

I just realized that William Hurt was also there totally phoning it in.

The final scene was slightly touching (between the King and his daughter), not the one in Atlantis where I’m trying to figure out how the mer-people built structures without hands.

With a more capable… everything, this may have been a decent movie, but it was obvious that very little effort went into the movie.

The Kings Daughter (2022, by way of 2015) – 2/10

Spirited Away

02/25

It has taken an incredibly long time, but I finally saw Spirited Away.

Of the 22 actual Studio Ghibli films, this was only my 4th. I saw Ponyo many years ago, last year I saw Kiki’s Delivery Service and The Boy and the Heron, and finally Spirited Away.

Once again I was absolutely flabbergasted by how unbelievably dazzlingly beautiful this film was.

What I’ve seen of Miyazaki’s works, I am seeing that, other than his tendency to stay away from Anime tropes, the characters usually look a bit more humanoid, with the exception of the elderly. It makes me wonder if that is because grandparents, when viewed by children, and so different, their generations are far enough removed that they would seem otherworldly. Either more frightening, or fantastical.

I have also noticed, that the children in his films (the ones I’ve seen) are physically bound by their smaller bodies. They act like children, they move like children, we rarely even see that in live action films!

I also noted, that in these films, the adults (particularly parents) actually factor in a great deal to the lives of their children. In a school uniform anime we are lucky to even see the teachers, even though they are at school, and family is even less likely to factor in. It is a bizarre dichotomy considering the incredibly large role that family, multiple generations, play in the day to day life of Japanese children. The entire impetus of the story is her trying to save her parents.

I would be remiss if I did not mention my feelings on Hayao Miyazaki the man.

Considering what a beloved figure he is, he is also very controversial due to things he has said. I have read some quotes from him that I can’t help but agree with, and when it comes to animation, there are few who should have their opinions heard more than him.

Finally, I’ve seen arguments online that Across the Spider-Verse was “robbed” of the Academy Award by Boy and the Heron. Forst of all, it also lost the BAFTA and the Golden Globe. It did however beat Heron for the Annie award, and considering the originality of the animation, it deserved to. But, come on, you think Miyazaki’s final film wasn’t going to win?

Spirited Away (2001) – 9/10

Tank Girl

02/10

I have loved Tank Girl since I saw it in the theater in 1995. Like many other movies of that period, I’ve watched it so many times I couldn’t begin to count.

Petty is phenomenal and so is McDowell. The interjected animated sections are absolutely awesome and inspired.

That being said, I can see why many people would have been put off by the movie. It’s not traditional in many ways, in fact it may have benefitted from being fully animated.

I find the visuals to be spellbinding. One scene in particular, the dry shower, is so poignant that it seems like an art installation. To be fair, it is all the more artsy with Portishead being played.

A quick note on the soundtrack. This is one of those movies that has such a perfect soundtrack that it is fully accentuated throughout.

I love this movie.

Tank Girl (1995) – 10/10

The Super Mario Bros Movie

02/07

When I first saw the new Mario Bros movie, I was super hyped up about it after it ended. I loved all of the references, the jokes, and I loved the visuals.

However, when I watched it nearly a year later with my mother and my sister, it was certainly still plenty of fun, but the majority of the laughs weren’t there. In fact, the excitement was mostly drained. Sure, it was still a perfect soft and fun movie that didn’t make you think deeply, but something was missing.

The first thing I really noticed was how much was lost visually when not seeing it in the theater. This was a movie made to be watched on the big screen. The swooping animated vistas and scary volcanic area seemed smaller, it became another cgi cartoon.

I also remember finding most of the characters charming. Not so much this time.

I don’t want to dissuade anyone from watching it, it’s still a fun movie, I just didn’t get what I got the first time.

The Super Mario Bros Movie (2023) – 6/10